


Closer

by Davechicken



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, F/M, Non-Sexual Intimacy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 05:52:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8566459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Life gets much better when they realise they want the same things.





	

Once he blurts out the confession ( _I don’t think I’m wired up right, I’m sorry, I just - I don’t - it isn’t - I mean you’re attractive, but -_ ) and she crumples for a moment like she hates him, until he realises the sensation washing off her is _relief_ … 

(I don’t think I want to, either. It’s never held appeal for me. I was worried you’d want me to try, and I’d not satisfy you.)

Once they both say it, it’s like - it’s like the world makes sense again, and the awkward tension of ‘I want to get closer but I don’t want _that thing_ yet, and maybe never’ is gone, Kylo grabs her face, holds it, and kisses her firmly (and non-erotically) on the lips.

And then blurts out: “I’m sorry… I should have asked… are kisses okay?”

She laughs, her hands over his, and nods. “I think so. So… it’s okay if we maybe don’t?”

He smiles. It is. So very okay. He’d been horrified with himself for the imagined ways he’d have to politely decline, or how to make himself function enough, or if she’d feel insulted if he got her off without his own arousal featuring… but she’s just as edgy about the situation as he is, and he realises not all of the tension he’d been feeling was _internal_.

So now the shadow is gone. They don’t _have_ to. Don’t even need to think about it, unless they want to. It will maybe take some discussion later on, when they can say what is, and isn’t okay. What is, and isn’t wanted. But for now, he knows there’s not some Hoped For Goal that he’s unwittingly frustrating, and he pulls her in, shoulder under his chin, and wraps his arms around her. They’ve hugged before (briefly) and it had been so damned nice… it’s even sweeter, now, knowing there’s no ulterior motive or waiting clause.

He hugs her, and she nuzzles his cheek, and it’s warming. All the way to the core.

***

There’s a list of ‘yes’, a list of ‘no’, and a list of ‘maybe but let’s see’. Kylo likes knowing some boundaries, especially ones that aren’t there. Like, he feels better knowing he can wrap his arms around her and pull her to him. Knowing it’s okay to kiss on the lips (no tongue), and on the neck and throat… the knowledge means he doesn’t worry if he has the urge. Hands on the breasts are fine, but no pulling at nipples. Check. Showering together also fine. (He’s not always interested in that, though. It comes and goes. Sometimes a shower is just utility, and not indulgence.) Sleeping together, also fine. Occasional boner in bed fine, but better when he’s not touching her with it. It doesn’t usually last that long anyway, but he can roll over and be spooned instead until the urge goes. All great.

She prefers he doesn’t touch himself non-sexually between the legs except when cleaning or adjusting things, which is fine. He isn’t that bothered. It’s functional, not fun, and he honestly can’t remember ever needing to touch there without a set goal in mind anyway.

Questions are also fine. Questions about how bits work and feel, and she lets him look once just for curiosity, and then she asks about his plumbing and he kind of wishes he could combine the ease of pissing male with the lack of bouncing of a female, but it’s only a transient thought. Then his curiosity is satisfied, and other than a ‘don’t ask’ about her cycle (which he insists instead all he wants to know is _how to be nice to her_ through it, not _what is involved_ ), that’s the end of that.

Kylo learns how to cuddle without elbows getting in the way. Learns how much pressure is wanted on the scalp or shoulders. Learns he quite likes his own feet massaging, but not to touch hers on pain of being kicked in the face. 

He learns that a small box of chocolates once a month means he gets kisses. Learns that if there’s the odd tear it’s okay, and the best thing to do is just rub her back. Learns he sleeps better when someone’s in bed with him, chasing away bad dreams. Learns there’s magic in palms touching, and lips tickling his neck. 

When the bad days hit him, as they do, he can ask to spar away the tension, shower off the sweat, and curl up under a blanket and watch holos with her.

And it’s. Freaking.

 _Awesome_.


End file.
